Tuesday, September 20, 2005

the FSM, Pirates and Preventing Global Warming

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I follow the evolution/creation debate in the US. A new player has emerged. The Flying Spaghetti Monster even has a scientific graph "proving" It's effects. From the Venganza website (I'm having trouble with the linking: www.venganza.org):


Let us remember that there are multiple theories of
Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief
that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who
created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the
overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is
nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
...
I’m sure you now
realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory.
It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the
discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to
teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full
pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately
cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already
becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes,
and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of
Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the
approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the
last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse
relationship between pirates and global temperature.



I don't know if there is any connection but yesterday was "Talk Like A Pirate Day". This cause was championed by Dave Barry, a Floridian who may well be knowledgable on the effects of global warming and on subject of pirates.

Arrgh! Avast them lot an' prepare de plank! (How do pirates talk? All my accents end up being Scottish or, nowadays, Korean.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...
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kwandongbrian said...

Yet another bit of spam.